I had quite
a few reservations about moving out of state, not the least of which was the
feeling that I could neither trust nor rely on the man I’d married. But perhaps
the greatest fear of all was that “something” might happen when I was away.
What if something awful happened and I couldn’t get home? What if I didn’t get
to say goodbye? What if I missed out on precious time that could have been
spent with my family? “You can’t live your life in fear, Natalie”, he'd said,
clearly irritated. I knew that. But it was a fear of something I couldn’t
describe- something dark and sinister that I could discern, yet was unable to
name.
He sold SO
many things on Craigslist—my things—without asking or telling me. Craigslist
has been a source of much pain, yet also, ironically, through Craigslist, God
provided.
We lived in
Tyler at the time, and we needed a coffee table. He found one on Craigslist and
I was leery (this was BEFORE the Craigslist killer thing!!!); Meeting people
you didn’t know, in places that were unfamiliar, to buy a product with no
guarantee…What kind of weird people would want to do that? It all just sounded “off” to me. But what do
I know? Needless to say, we ended up at the home of a lovely, NORMAL family…and
we bought their coffee table.
We stayed
and chatted with them for quite a while- we were new to town, newly married,
newly pregnant; they had been married for a while and had school age children.
They were home schooling their children and I had been home schooled. We were
looking for a church and they went to a great one—and we ended up attending
that church while we lived in Tyler and finding a wonderful group of friends.
All because of a coffee table on Craigslist.
Fast
forward to the following spring when he decided we would move to Colorado. We
posted some of our furniture on Craigslist (we would buy new stuff when we got
there he said). A young, single guy bought our dresser and bed frame.
Somehow, small talk revealed he had just moved from Denver, and he had friends
there who were helping to start a church. I wrote down the church name and
address.
Our first
Sunday in Denver was Easter. I insisted on attending Sunday morning service
regardless of how exhausted we were from moving and unpacking. We visited the
church that the young man recommended.
The service
started and immediately, I realized that this was a different kind of church. I was raised Baptist- clapping and
raising your hands were about as expressive as we got- and sometimes even that was pushing it. These people were jumping up and down, dancing,
and all manner of things. “It’s just ONE Sunday,” I told myself. “At least we
are in church.” At the end of the service, the pastor announced they would be
having a raffle; each family was to write the names of all present family
members (regardless of age) on a ticket. They began to draw names and announce
winners. You can imagine our shock when we heard them call out the name of our
five-month-old daughter, winner of a $3500 travel voucher through Triple A
Travel.
That travel
voucher allowed my mom and dad to come visit us in Colorado for a week at the
end of May. My dad passed away unexpectedly three months later. It was the last time I saw my father alive.
So again,
looking back, I see God in the details. Would I rather have stayed in Texas and
spent more time with my family? Would I rather my dad’s life been spared?
Should I not believe in God because He didn’t follow my views on how life
should be? I remember standing outside our apartment as my parents drove away, thinking, “This might be the last time I see him”. And in that moment, though
the fear and sorrow were almost overwhelming, I had a feeling of such
thankfulness. I didn't know it then, but God gave me a week. God gave me memories. God gave me
photographs. God used something that Jonathan used for evil, to give me something
good—Time with my daddy that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. God used Craigslist.
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